you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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