ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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