There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He shit in the fireplace
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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