Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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