toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
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By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm both gender and math confused
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