please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
