I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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