From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She announced her abortion via fbk
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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