I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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