i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
