why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
