Texts From Last Night

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  This is not my ceiling

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  (478): This is not my ceiling http://tfl.nu/p46e
  Replies (11) Good night (1558) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.

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  (978): Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success. http://tfl.nu/7k1i
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck

  (734): View more from Michigan

  omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore

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  (734): I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck (734): omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore http://tfl.nu/u6lq
  Replies (32) Good night (852) Bad night (3927)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.

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  (979): What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls. http://tfl.nu/5u5z
  Replies (23) Good night (785) Bad night (5174) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

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  (248): If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme. http://tfl.nu/8vj2
  Replies (12) Good night (7680) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds

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  (303): dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds http://tfl.nu/9fcs
  Replies (19) Good night (1456) Bad night (4403) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?

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  (251): Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"? http://tfl.nu/ubao
  Replies (6) Good night (3736) Bad night (812)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.

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  (407): I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity. http://tfl.nu/5ec6
  Replies (23) Good night (4599) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's got a legit dose of dude going on

  (240): View more from Maryland

  No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.

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  (240): Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden (202): She's got a legit dose of dude going on (240): No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne. http://tfl.nu/qro2
  Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (1714)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.

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  (910): I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way. http://tfl.nu/yh0e
  Replies (2) Good night (1274) Bad night (349)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club

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  (859): he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club http://tfl.nu/kd8o
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just commented on the education level of his penis.

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  (734): I just commented on the education level of his penis. http://tfl.nu/tupj
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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  (503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (249)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.

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  (201): Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/pcyi
  Replies (8) Good night (373) Bad night (980)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.

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  (765): We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven. http://tfl.nu/19wc
  Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt

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