Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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