i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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