Duck Duck Cougar?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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