Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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