Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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