we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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