You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize