There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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