When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
