I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
