she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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