A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was born a porn star she said
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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