U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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