haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i out mim tonsoeep
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
