Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
