do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't deserve a penis
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
