before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
