i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
