WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
