That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
