she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize