I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
