I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
