whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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