Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
