the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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