you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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