Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
