Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
