if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
