Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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