If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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