i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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