I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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