If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The best revenge is premature balding
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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