heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
