Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
