I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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