if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
