So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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