turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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