Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
