we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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