one might say we're banned from that church
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
