i don't like sucking hair
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
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I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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